by the way, i really really enjoy the gap holiday commercials.

my favorite? the one with seal and alanis.

give a little bit, give a little bit of your love to me.

lisa was just telling me how her husbands friend sent them little ruby slippers for their baby. how cute is that? the same woman sent them "baby's first bmw" a few months back. shit, that kid is going to be in style. after telling me all of this, lisa asked me if i would go and buy all of isabella's clothes for her. heh. you KNOW i am jazzed for that. i cannot WAIT for this kid to be born.

this weekend i am going to go and visit my friend deanna who lives in antelope. antelope is a little town outside of sacramento where everyone is white and a hick. which is funny because, deanna is my ghetto friend. ok, she's ghetto in my world. she's totally hard core. like in high school she had cholita bangs and everything. thinking she was anything BUT the white girl she is. it's really funny that we are so close because it was girls like her that i was afraid of in high school. you know. the girls that wore burgandy sweats and had long acrylic nails. scary. anyway, we became friends when she worked with me at estamp. when i first met her she had BRAIDS. yeah, you know the kind that ummm beyonce has. uh huh. now she's looks really good. i have totally been a good influence on her. so yeah, going to go hang out with her and her kids tomorrow. should be fun.

i love planning parties but, when it comes to planning my own birthday party? i have no interest. at all.

i think someone should plan a party for me.

come to think of it. i don't even know if i want a party this year. i am NOT looking forward to turning 25. it seems so fucking old. remember when you were like 13 or 14 and 25 seemed ancient? yeah. me too. i want to stay 24 forever.

conclusion? no need to celebrate this year.

of course, i will be accepting gifts. so, you know where to send your trinkets. unless of course you are john, you already gave me my gift.

things to discuss this morning:

~i woke up with an intense craving for a decaf nonfat gingerbread latte from starbucks. in california, there is a starbucks on every corner. but. there is not one near my work. can you believe that shit? so now, i am still craving one. maybe i will get one after work.

~i have a massive zit on my face from eating too much see's candy. it's hideous. really, i am TOO OLD FOR ZITS.

~it's friggin cold here. COLD as balls as some might say. i think it's probably in the low 50's which is almost freezing in these parts. it's really yucky to have to get out of bed when your room FREEZING. blech.

~people in the bay area do NOT know how to drive in the rain. it took me almost an hour to get home last night. no accidents, just people driving 15 mph on the freeway. lame shit. i am telling you, when i move, i am going to a place where it is above 60 every day and NO rain. yeah, i say that now. you know i'll end up in some freezing ass state where heat is very expensive and people don't know how to drive.

~i need plans for new years. since i can't take any time off work because *someone* is going to germany, i cannot go to florida. i had been planning on going to florida since MAY. may. YES. may, the month before june. it sucks cock. it.sucks.to.be.grown.up.

word to this.

I LOVE RUPAUL. work it girl.

i really wanted to watch the real world last night but, i completely passed out at 9pm. i am SO old. i can't even function past 8:30. meeka called me at around 8 and i was totally out of it. all i remember talking about was going to see matt nathanson and hanging out at her house. we have a big weekend, next weekend. her parents are going out of town so we are going to party like the rockstars we are all weekend. saturday matt nathanson, sunday john mayer. wooo hoo. concert weekend.

it's really fucking cold in my office. it's really annoying that it's either too hot or too cold in here. never just right. LAME. i like complaining. it's fun. plus, i think that when i complain, people comment more. and i miss my comments. don't you? i mean, i love hearing the public responses to my rambling. it's fun to just go off on shit. like the fact that i go off on anything at any given time, that's what makes me ME. thanks.

anyway, i just spent 2 hours remaking all of our office name tags. when i went to print them out, the fucking format on the word document had changed with every additional page i used. (for those of you who don't know, ususally when you tab down, it keeps the same format you have used on the original page, in this case, it did not.) so, i had to go back and save EACH PAGE. each page seperately. do you know how long that took? gah. yeah. i already said. TWO MOTHERFUCKING hours.

ok, that's enough for now.

gina's bored today. she's checked my blog 12 times!

that's why i love her so! she's my biggest fan.

apparently, i am whipped because i watched a football game on tv last night.

do you agree?

my weekend with john was amazing. it was nice to be able to spend almost 4 days with him. we had a great time. did a little tour of the city, ate, hung out with some friends, hung out with some family and relaxed. it was SO nice to be able to have that time with him.

this morning i took him to the airport before heading to work. i wasn't as sad as i usually am. i think i am getting more used to the fact that we are going to be having several goodbyes. it's really hard to constantly say goodbye but, the way i think of it is; the more we say goodbye, the sooner we are together forever. cheesy, huh?

i get to work today, and my desk is a mess. the pillow i use for the back of my chair was missing, my pictures were scattered all over the place and the mail from last week was sitting under my desk. now. excuse me but, if you are sitting at someone else's desk, would you not return everything to it's place when you leave? i am pissed beyond belief. when i cover for someone else, i am sure to put everything back the way i found it. the excuse? they were really busy all day. however, it was pointed out to me that the office was DEAD yesterday. interesting. so much for team work.

best invention ever?

starbucks mud pie ice cream. YUM.

there are no words to describe how i am feeling right now.

for the past two days i had gone back and forth as to whether or not i would actually go to kansas city. last night was insane. i had a huge breakdown and decided to not go. then i had some sense knocked into me and i took off for the airport. waited in line for 20 minutes and completely broke down. i have never been as hysterical or felt so out of control in my life.

knowing how much i was letting john down was the hardest part. i honestly thought that he would break up with me and just end things on the spot. i am so used to guys like that. if you aren't what they want you to be, they move on. last night i was weak. so weak, i almost feel pathetic. i am 24 years old. before september 11th, i got on a plane all the fucking time. i flew to charlottesvolle, i flew to philly, i flew to dallas all the time, flew to la. i had no reservations before. regardless of how safe i know it is to fly now, i just could not get on that plane.

the most amazing thing about the whole thing, is that john is coming here tomorrow.

i don't know or why i was blessed with such an amazing man, but i was taught at a young age to not question fate.

ok, so this is one thing that gets on my nerves.

if YOU ask me for advice, YOU best be able to handle the truth as i see it! don't ask my opinion if you don't want to hear it. i don't sugar coat anything. if you don't want to hear what i have to say, keep it to yourself. gina and sharon will tell you, i will tell you the damn truth. my honest opinion. if you're acting like a little bitch and you ask me if i think you're acting like one, i'll tell you. if you want to know if you look fat in something, i'll tell you. if you want to know if i think your boyfriend is lame, i WILL tell you. get the point? good. (lets dance)

anyone got big plans for thanksgiving?

taking a lead from this guy, i'd like to list the things i am thankful for.

~i am thankful for my family and the love and support they have given me over the past year.

~i am thankful for my friends, whom without their devotion and love i would not have the happiness i do at the present time.

~i am thankful for john. the most amazing man i have ever met in my life. who loves me unconditionally, no matter what i look like or how dramatic i may be.

~i am thankful for my job, knowing that i have a stable income for the time being and that i am able to grow professionally with such a dynamic group of people.

~i am thankful for my life. the events that have happened over the past two months really make me realize how fortunate i am. i am so lucky, and even though i may complain a lot, i am incredibly grateful and appreciative of everything i have.

and with that...i must return to my normal sarcastic self.

some of you might know, i have a minor obsession with boz scaggs. anyway, today i came to the realization that he kinda looks like my dad.

weird. very weird.

so, i had a nice long talk with my mom last night. i told her that if she really felt that something bad was going to happen to me when i was flying, then i would not go. she said that she wants me to go and that she will not stop me.

the thing is, i really think that she is depressed about me "growing up". and the fact that she no longer has as much of a say in the decisions i make, drives her mad. now i see where i get my controlling attitude from. it's sad, really. but, i actually took the time to explain to her the things that were happening with john. the things that we've discussed and the fact that john is not just another guy i am dating. and that he's not going anywhere. so, she needs to respect the fact that he is here, and that he is my "boyfriend". i think she gets it now. i hope she does at least, because it's important to me that she accepts the decisions i make.

phew. i feel all grown up.

i am so annoyed with my mother right now, i could scream.

she called me to tell me that her therapist told her the crash last week was sabotage. are you kidding me? then she goes off on how she doesn't think i should go because she is afraid that something is going to happen to me if i do. so, i ask you this. do i listen to my mother's instinct and not go? or do i go and feel guilty?

by the way, i just dumped the ENTIRE petty cash drawer on my floor. it's more fun than 52 pick-up. you should try it sometime.

i ate so much yesterday.

elise's mom had SO much food at that party, i swear there was enough food for 100 people. maybe more. she was basically making people leave with doggie bags.

the party was nice. elise and marcus looked so happy around everyone and it was SO nice to finally meet marcus' parents. very nice people. i love the fact that all of the parents get a long. it should make for a very nice wedding planning.

i believe the invite said, "no gifts"- but they got so much shit it was unreal. the big joke was that they got all these serving platters and they don't even have everyday dishes, yet.

i leave for kansas in 3 days. i am very excited to see john. and even more excited to get this "birthday" present he keeps talking about. damn boys, can't keep anything to themselves. :)

i am tired.

that's all.

i am smart
i am funny
i am creative
i am independent
i am strong
i am beautiful
i am inspiring.

yes, i bought self affirmation undies today at the gap. they are so fucking cute! and damn, they make me feel good about myself.

shopping, shopping and more shopping.

i bought so much. i am actually really proud of myself. i started the holiday shopping this afternoon. of course, i bought some shit for me as well, but rachel and gm are taken care of.

i feel so accomplished.

marika is wonderwoman for putting up with me in the mall. i was nutso. i had to try on so much shit it was insane. and now? i am dead tired. good thing i don't have plans for tonight. otherwise, i'd be dead to the world.

i think i'll do some laundry and begin to think about what i should pack for kansas. john says it shouldn't be cooler than 50 while i am there, so i won't need to take my new coat. i'm kinda bummed about that but, i am sure i will get use out of it at some time.

so, i ended up going and let me say...

IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

seriously, i have not been to a show with that much energy in forever. first off, they walk on stage with the house lights on to elevation and then, they start playing elevation with the lights on. awesome. anyway, i don't want to give away too much but i will say this; they played one. while they played it, they had the names of everyone on the flights that crashed on september 11th, running along the screen behind the stage. all of the police officers that died, and all of the firefighters as well. it was odd how one name stuck out. i won't type that name on my blog out of respect of a mourning friend. babe, i totally cried. it's weird how things strike you in a certain way. i'm not saying that i didn't cry before tonight about the things that happened on september 11th but, for some reason tonight, it struck me more than it ever has. maybe it was seeing all the victims names in print. maybe it was hearing the lyrics to one or walk on. i can't pin point exactly what it was, but it was incredible. almost a release.

and on that note, my bed is calling my name.

the fact that this channel is airing the best of arsenio hall, rocks my world. tonight? elton john. singing sacrifice. i think that sacrifice is my favorite elton song. well, other than i guess that's why they call it the blues.

funny story about elton. i took my mom to see him for her 50th birthday a few years back. we were sitting in the area designated for handicapped people. anyway, mid-show she looks over and the people next to us are having SEX. yes. sexual intercourse. in PUBLIC. shady.

on that note, i am going to eat. lots.

when i calm down, i will tell you all the story of why i didn't go to see U2 tonight.

all i can say is...

people who flake suck. what's more, is that when someone knows you need to be somewhere by a specific time in order for you to get your ticket, and they commit to getting you there on time- they should respect that.

fuck. that.

yeah, i'm bitter as fuck.

i just bought a ticket to see U2 this evening. i am totally excited. i'm totally tagging along with marcus and elise but, whatever. they can deal.

word to big bird. i haven't been to a big concert like this since july. i am totally jazzed.

maybe you have heard about the vh1 my music awards. well, nancies is nominated for coolest fan website. they are losing to MULLET sporting acid jean wearing men. (bon jovi)

normally i would not tell you to go and vote, but if it weren't for nancies, i would not have met john. so... GO vote. now.

and with that, i need to prepare for TI2.

last night i FORCED myself to stay up so that i could watch TI2. unfortunately, when 9pm rolled around i noticed that it was not on. instead, some new comedy about some single father. what.ever. WE WANT TI2.

BUMMED.

anyway, i ended up watching the diary of pink. very interesting. i guess that linda perry of 4non blondes fame is producing her new cd. they seem to be very close. VERY close. i thought that was interesting. as ashamed as i am to admit it, i kinda dig pink. i really like her new song. it makes me want to shake my booty. not to mention, she is hot. yeah, if i went that way, i'd go for her.

in other news, i am giving myself until tomorrow to make a decision as to whether or not i will get on a plane come wednesday night. at this point in time, i am 96.5% sure that i will. why? because i can't let something like this control my life and enable me to live the way i need to live. it sucks that the man i love lives so far away. but i figure, with everything that has happened since we've been together, it's almost a test. if we can survive this shit, we can survive anything.

this is why i love my boyfriend so much.

i have been really uneasy about flying for the past few days. deep down i know there's nothing to be afraid of. my whole life i have always lived with the thought of, "when it's my time, it's my time." it just seems to me like all these things are happening in the air right now and i am just overly emotional. it makes it incredibly difficult to listen to my mother who is insistent upon me not going. if i don't go, i won't see john for over a month. shit. i need advice.

anyone?

one more thing...macauly(sp) culkin is sitting next to michael. with a white button down shirt, and the top 4 buttons are undone. when did he become some sexy motherfucker?

PLEASE STOP THE INSANITY.

ok, i am in the middle of watching the michael jackson 30th anniversary.

umm...yeah. whit? she's skinnier than calista. and who the FUCK is billy gilman? anyone?

i'm just chillin til nsync is on. gots to get my jc fill.

i bet they wait til the VERY end to show the jackson 5 reunion. i can't possibly stay up that late. i'd be a basketcase tomorrow. i don't think my coworkers would like that. or maybe they would.

considering the fact that i am already in a fussy mood, staying up late would not be the best idea.

i really need to get my nails done. they are all chipped and broken. i was going to wait until next week, but i just don't think that's a good idea. i have the engagement party this weekend and i can't go with my hands looking all ratty.

yesterday, i met with the CFO to discuss my budget for the social committee for next year. he basically cut the budget in half and eliminated the friday socials, which i feel are very important. people look forward to the socials. it's the one time during the week where we can all get together and catch up on what's going on within other departments. instead of the weekly socials, we will be implementing an achievement gathering once a week to acknowledge progress made in specific projects. they (the execs) decided that the admin for the department who achieves their goal will be responsible for planning these gatherings. NOW. the reason why the social committee was created was for exactly this reason. so that the admins didn't always get stuck planning for these events. and so that EVERY employee was involved. the way it works now, is that two people (each from different departments) plan the socials. it makes it easier to meet new people in other areas of the company whom you may not socialize with on a day to day basis. anyway, i am just frustrated. i understand the reasoning behind it, i just think it's unfortunate that the company is changing.

i'm hungry...hmmmm....

but if i did, you could look inside and see what's on my mind...oh it's you...

laura seems to think that i should become a professional mud wrestler. hmmm...i could be one. and wear a pink bikini. right. that's really gonna happen.

that laura, she's got a vivid imagination.

umm...my comments are working again...chop chop. lets break the record of 28!

do you like my new template? simple, yet elegant. kinda like me :)

shayna, i'm saying this the nicest way i can,

don't ever ever touch your template again (let me know what else you want me to do on it :))

having said that, let her know what you think people.

new digs, ya like?

see what happens when i try and fix my OWN blog?

fucked.up.

i am very sad.

wanna hear about my weekend? good. have a seat, grab some water and like frankie says, RELAX.

friday- got home from work, did a little workout, watched a little tv, talked to john, drove to my grandma's to pick my mom up. john mayer was on conan so i set my alarm clock to wake up at 1:15. alarm went off, i sat up, flipped through the channels, turned on conan, put my head on the pillow to get comfy and the next thing i know? it's 8am on saturday. yep, i slept through the WHOLE thing.

saturday- woke up, walked to my hair appointment. it's really nice to be able to WALK five minutes and BE at the hair salon. my hairdresser? his name is steven. totally reminded me of steven from the real world seattle but a bit taller, and he actually admitted he was homosexual. anyway, he gave me a good cut although, no one can really tell. why? because for some reason, every time i cut my hair with layers, it always ends up looking the same; just a different length. after the haircut, i went to lunch with my mom and no neck joe. proceeded back to the condo to lay out the *rug* . i am SO over this rug. basically, it's a rug that we had in our house in hillsborough. it's mauve, blue, cream, ORANGE and green. absolutely 80's. why do we need to have it out? because my mom's theory is that since she spent so much money on it, she might as well have it out. it is UGLY. and tacky. and yeah, you get the point. basically no neck joe and i have to move all of the furniture out of the room so that we can lay the padding and the rug down. my mom is completely helpless when it comes to this shit.

anyway, halfway through this project, the power goes out. i'm telling you, it was sprinkling outside. nice cause for a power outage. we finish up and i realize that my car is in the garage, so i can't even leave. damnit. so i am stuck in my room without power, without a phone (i left my cell in no neck joe's car) and NOTHING TO DO. by this point it's about 4pm. i am supposed to go to see shallow hal with justin, james and sharon but i figure the power's been out for this long, it may not come back on. finally joe comes back with my phone and i call john. call sharon and right as i hung up with sharon, the power went back on. PRAISE THE LORD. went and met the boys and sharon, had a RAW awesome blossom from chili's and cruised to the movie. i don't really want to go into details as to why i didn't like the movie. i understand the premise behind it. but i thought it was poorly executed. before the movie, we were entertained by two little boys. TJ and enrique. they said they were 14 however, they looked 12. they were typical preteens and justin was totally on their level. at one point, james asked TJ if he pleasured himself and...the young lad starts telling him how he's mormon. i thought we were going to throw us out of the theater. luckily at that point, the movie started.

sunday- woke up, talked to john for a bit, talked to gm for a bit. talked to elise for a bit then went to my grandma's. she made me cheese blintz. YUM. then i went to the mall to get some new candles and some other stuff. (mostly for my new sassy haircut.) then, uncle mikey decides that he wants to go see life as a house. i drive all the way to the theater (in SF), get there and he's not there yet. not only that, but the movie is sold out. i call him to tell him and he's still at his house and has decided that he'll just stay at his place with his gf. SO frustrated. although, i should be used to his indecisiveness by now. i called john, had my temper tantrum and went home to take a nice bath and listen to some natalie merchant. instant serenity.

after the bath, met the fam for dinner. locked my keys in my car. yeah yeah. the thing is...triple A sent 2 tow trucks. it was pretty damn funny. anyway, hopped in the car and drove off.

it was exactly the kind of weekend i needed.

it's times like these i wish i had a voice blog.

i just got a confirmation for my haircut tomorrow by an automated system.

hil.ar.io.us.

i'm fooling around with new templates. the thing is...if i change the template, i lose everything that we've done to create such a masterpiece. it truly does suck.

everybody asks me how she's doing
has she really lost her mind
i say, i couldn't tell you
i've lost mine...

in a word? frustrated.

i am so annoyed today. i wanted to take a half day today so that i could go to the doctor (which i have been needing to do for OVER a month now.) i was about to tell sharon and all the sudden, you-know-who starts going off on how she has to have today off because she child care provider is sick and she has to stay home with her son. fine. i'll put it off til next week; even though i know i shouldn't.

i get to work today, and guess what? SHE'S FUCKING HERE.

ok, i thought i was a drama queen. but really...i got nothing on her. for real, she is out of motherfucking CONTROL.

i'm done.

something happened today to trigger a situation that went down a few months ago.

before things happened with john, i was quite smitten (or so i thought) with this other guy. this guy who made me several promises that he could not own up to. anyway, we were buddies and i had planned to fly out there to hang out with him for a weekend. anyway, long story short-he bailed a month or so before i was scheduled to go out there because supposedly, his sister was going to be in town. today, it was brought to my attention that there was another girl visiting him at the time i was supposed to be there. what do i have to say to this? shady. in all honesty, i don't know why i am bothered by this. i mean, i am COMPLETELY in love with john and i am by far the happiest i have ever been. however, i feel incredibly betrayed.

ok, i'm over it. gotta love the blog therapy. :)

so let's discuss TI2.

ok, the couples? kinda interesting mix. the first couple is this couple from chicago. they have been together for almost 4 years and he says he loves her but he doesn't think he wants to get married. she's kinda snobby and he just rolls his eyes at her comments. i see this relationship ending at the end of the show.

couple number two. she's a "traveling actress" and he races cars. they are so pathetic. she has perma-smile which is enough for me to not trust her. her boyfriend? total sleaze. he'll be the first to cheat. i think, at least.

couple number three. she's a snotty girl and he's a bartender. i think they will most likely stay together at the end. it's obvious that they have genuine feelings for each other. she kinda reminds me of my cousin. probably comes from a well off family and they disapprove of her dating someone without a career. in my opinion, he's the cutest. but has a weird nose. they'll probably stay together after the show.

fourth couple. ok. they've been together for a long time. i think like 5 years or something. anyway, they are doing the show to see if they really should be together. she thinks that he is too passive for her and he thinks that she needs someone who is passive because she is a drama queen. they both said that in their entire relationship, they have not gotten into an argument. i think she wants him to be tempted. i think they'll end up staying together, as well.

i just want to say that you all are completely inconsistant. please. post comments for ONE post? that's all the love i get?

i see how it is. just wait. maybe i'll stop blogging all together and show YOU how much you depend on my humor to get through your day. uh huh.

what up everybody. jdunn coming to you live from shayna's world.

just thought i'd let everyone know that this is now a one stop information blog. in other words, if you direct your eyes to the right, you'll notice several new links have been added.

that's all i have to say. back to my own blog now. later.

it's a lovely day...lovely day, LOVE-ly day.

it's beautiful outside. our local weatherman has predicted that the next few days will be warm, and then...get ready for winter! i am so excited. the past few days i have been wearing all my sweaters and warmer pants. now? i want to be able to wear my NEW coat. heh. like i'll ever need that shit here.

last night was great. the catering manager totally treated us like kings and queens. we had a spread of all of the appetizers we are looking at for the party, some excellent dessert and of course, drinks. :) mike kept looking at his watch the whole night, like he had somewhere to be. so i asked him if he was on a leash. heh. he did not think i was funny. last night i found out that mike is married to a jewish girl and he made her eat spam, once. i almost puked at that comment. i.will.never.eat.spam.

i have been listening to the new alana davis cd like crazy. if you dig alana, you should pick it up. after work i am going to pick up the new brit. why? cuz i'm a SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE FOR YOU.

echem. i'm done.

i was excited to see my stats today. grand total...215.

2 HUNDRED AND 15.

wanna know who checked it the most? kymm, with a grand total of 26 times. heh. babe, go back to being a hoooookah.

i have a pounding headache!! why you ask? the construction people are making SO much noise today. banging, hammering, thudding, you name it, they're doing it. ok, not THAT but noisiness is everywhere.

the new office is rad. the only thing is i have two doors; one in the front, one in the back. i usually keep the front door open. anyway, people keep coming from the back and scaring the shit out of me. it's getting on my nerves. so my boss has suggested that i keep the back door open the whole day. excuse me mr. officer? hell no. i don't need people looking over my shoulder all day, mkay?

tonight i get to go to the hotel we are having the holiday party at. it should be an adventure. i am going with mike and cynthia.

you know, mike, the one who makes fun of my JC doll. anyway, yesterday he asked me to fed ex something for him because he was really busy and i said, "mike, i am NOT your bitch." he totally cracked up. then today, he asked me to send some things back east; this time there were a few people around and i said, "mike, i am NOT your bitch." i don't think they knew if they should laugh or be appalled. needless to say, they laughed. anyway, he just came into my office again and asked me if i could take a memo for him. guess what i said. uh huh.

it's really cold in this office. i have noticed that it's either too hot, or too cold. damn bastards.

ok, WHY AREN'T YOU GUYS POSTING COMMENTS?

don't make me go sharon on you and lecture you all on how many hits i get a day.

be like a munchkin and come out, come out wherever you are...

so, i have this friend. a friend who is considerably younger than i am. she tends to come to me for guidence and advice.

she's been dating this guy for over a year and he constantly mistreats her and never makes an attempt to see her when he has time off. (they have the whole "ld" thing going on.)

anyway, last night she calls me and we have this LONG conversation about how he never tells her about things and she finds out through other people. after the phone call, she calls him out on something and he AVOIDS her for almost 3 hours. then comes back with, "oh, my phone died". never appologized or anything. so she forgives him and she asks me what *i* think. the last time she asked me this, i told her that she needed to break up with him and that he is not good enough for her. she completely went off on me, telling me that i just don't understand their relationship and there is more to it then she has told me.

now, i think that is bullshit. i hear the way he talks about her to other people and i almost think that he keeps her around for sex. that's just my personal opinion. he has told several of my friends on numerous occasions that he wants to break up with her but he doesn't know how. it's really lame. he is such a shit. so now that i see this happening again, i want to tell her to walk away from him but after her reaction last time, i am afraid.

any suggestions? i KNOW you guys are out there.

yay! i am sitting in my new office. it's so nice!!! i don't have to listen to every conversation the exec's are having. it's absolute bliss.

other than the move, not much else is going on.

actually, i have a somewhat random story to tell. last night i was on the phone with someone i rarely talk to. she was telling me about this mutual friend of ours who is supposedly homosexual. she's telling me these stories about how he apparently slept in the same bed with another mutual friend who is supposedly homosexual as well. when i told her that the first person in question was not homosexual, she totally flipped. it was rather funny. the thing is, everyone assumes that these two people are homosexual and ALWAYS make reference to it. granted, they may have feminine traits, but as far as i know, neither have slept with any men i know.

moving on...

do you find it funny when people tell you stories about people you know, not knowing that you know them?

ok, the random blog is over.

i almost bought power puff girls sheets today at target. they were on sale for $19.99 and i thought they would go really well with the floral motif i have going on in my room. luckily, my senses kicked in and i did not buy them. instead, i bought a bag of hot tamales. the bag has 9 servings in it. i have eaten half the bag. pms, much? then i went to la cumbre and got a FAT burrito and now i am eating apple pie. it's a good thing i am not seeing john for 2 weeks. i think my triple chin is coming back.

eh whatever. last night i busted out a picture of me from when i first started losing weight. my sister said i looked like monica in her fat suit. heh. THAT was classic. too bad my fat was real.

i caved in and bought tickets to see john mayer and stevie nicks at the kfog concert for kids. SO siked for it. i got 6th row center seats. heh. marika and i are gonna go rock the casbah at masonic auditorium.

rachel left this morning. i can't really say i was sad to see her go. she pulled this whole attitude on my mom yesterday, when my mom asked her if she would consider moving to the bay area after she graduates. seriously, i don't know what he problem is but she seems to think that my mom is indispensable. it's just immature.

last night my grandma had a birthday party for uncle mikey's birthday. it was a really nice dinner. a lot of the people there hadn't seen me in a while and were completely impressed with the "new" me. i have such an ego now. but in all honesty, it makes me feel good that people can see the changes i have made in my life. i have been smiling for almost 2 months straight now. and i can honestly say, i am the happiest i have ever been.

anyway, yesterday afternoon i did a little shopping. my mom had been promising me a wool jacket for almost 2 years now and...she finally bought me one yesterday. it is SO adorable. i cannot wait til it gets cold enough to wear it but, seeing as though it's still in the 60's here; i may have to wait awhile.

anything else? nah. tomorrow is moving day at work, don't be sad if you don't hear from me til the afternoon:)

i had this LONG ass blog.

and i walked away from my computer to number the offices for the move. a coworker logged on to my computer and i LOST the entire thing.

all i really said was:

-rachel is here. she was a mess last night when she got off the plane.
-i accidentally taped the world series instead of friends
-i am tired.
-tomorrow is uncle mikey's birthday and my grandma is having a birthday party for him.

yup, that's all.

all of my comments are gone!!! i am SO bummed.

damn reblogger!

i know all of you are probably trying to comment and aren't able to.

fucking reblogger is down. or something.

damnit.

where to begin...

yesterday when i got home from work, there was this guy in the garage whom i had never seen before. being on edge about what is going on in the world right now, i asked him if he lived in the complex. he said "yes, i do" rather snottily and got into his car. now, in a normal situation i never would have even though twice about this guy. he didn't look sketchy or anything, i just found it odd that he was in the trash room. anyway, i asked the security guard this morning if she knew who he was. apparently he is the boyfriend of one of the women who lives inn my building. he travels a lot so, it shouldn't be shocking to me that i had never seen him before. just more paranoia on my part, i guess.

then i get upstairs and turn on the tv to find out that they have found anthrax in kansas city. fanfuckingtastic. i completely freak out and call john. he reassures me that what they had found is WAY far away from him and was apparently found and some sort of mail return facility, or some shit like that. it still makes me nervous. this whole anthrax scare has me worried about everything. i mean, what's next? seriously, i can't think for one second that this is the end. regardless of if they think it's international terrorist or some dumb fuck in some hick town with nothing better to do with his time. i cannot believe what this world is coming to. sending anthrax? having an entire country be on a "high alert" without giving us any information as to what we should be expecting. to me, that's just asking for chaos. MASS chaos. when i went to the grocery store the other night, they were out of bottled water. now seriously, do people really think there is an opportunity to contaminate water? i mean, i would think that would be damn near impossible to do. then again, everything else they have done has been somewhat impossible when you really think of it.

my sister is supposed to fly in tonight. i think she is completely freaked about flying. she called this morning almost in tears. i told her that if she feels uncomfortable flying, then she shouldn't. my poor sister. i don't want her to be scared.