ps - mark mulder is fucking HOT.

and the royals WILL come back tonight. why? because john will be there to root them on!

off to super target!

i think i love jason mraz almost as much as i once loved john mayer. (shut it, gm.)

was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
oh things are gonna happen naturally
and taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
and balancing the whole thing
but often times those words get tangled up in lines
and the bright lights turn to night
until the dawn it brings
a little bird who'll sing about the magic that was you and me

cause you and i both loved
what you and i spoke of
what you and spoke of
others only dream of the love that i love

see i'm all about them words
over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
more words then i had ever heard and i feel so alive
now you and i, you and i
not so little you and i anymore
and with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

you and i both loved what you and i spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well i'm already finally out of

and it's okay if you have go away
just remember the telephone works both ways
and if i never ever hear it ring
if nothing else I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
cause i'll remember everything you sang

you and i both loved what you and i spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well i'm already finally out of words.

tell me if you think this is rude...

one of our friends emailed us a while back asking if one of their friends was invited to our wedding. i think it's rude. but i am very opioniated(sp?).

i guess that's one of the hardest things about getting married. you can't invite everyone you know, just because you know them. but how do you let people know they're not invited, in a nice way? i really don't want to hurt any feelings or have anyone feel as though we don't like them just because they're not invited. gah!

two more days of being unemployed. then it's back to reality. actually, i am really excited about starting my new job. it's going to be a wonderful growing experience for me! and hopefully, my new boss won't turn out to be a backstabbing, home wrecking whore.

it's really nice to be back in a quiet house. don't get me wrong, i love spending time with my family but - there's only so much bickering between boys and nagging one can deal with.

the trip was very sucessful. we managed to lock down a photographer, picked out our cake and made a final decision on invitations. it seems as though most of the big things can be put aside and we can beging to work on the little things.

oliver was an angel for most of the weekend. he loved playing with the boys and running around my parents house. it was like - disneyland for dogs! running around the back yard, going up and down stairs and children rolling around with him on the floor. no wonder he slept the whole way home.

speaking of the ride home, we passed this dude on a dirt bike with major crack showing. i thought i was going die!!! and as if that wasn't enough, we actually passed a truck with HORNS on his front bumper. only in oklahoma.

guess who got a job?

it's me! it's me!

i'll post more when we return from our trip to dallas!

have a fun, safe weekend!!! :)

the sign of being a loser? calling to vote for the next american idol. RUBEN.

it's 7:45am...WHY THE FUCK AM I UP?

the past few days have been somewhat of a blur. last weekend - pretty uneventful other than john calling me at 2am, after his brother's bachelor party. poor kid, he just can't drink like he used to. he's vowed to *never* drink, again. let's see how long that promise lasts...

on friday, we're heading down to dallas to do some more wedding planning. meeting with the hotel and going to see a possible musician for the ceremony. we're also bringing oliver which will be VERY interesting. this will be the test to see how he deals with car rides. as of right now, he adores the car. i just hope he loves 8 hours as much as he loves 15 minutes!

in other news, you'd be shocked by the amount of emails i've received regarding my "purse". everyone and their mother want to purchase it from me! it's a hot commodity! too bad i've already promised it to heather - i could make a butt load off that thing!

hmmm...not much else going on. watched mraz on leno (which i taped, of course.) and i was really impressed with his performance. maybe he'll make it to kc one of these days.

i've been feeling really depressed, lately. it's a feeling i haven't felt in a long time and i really fucking hate it. the worst part is that i know john is getting frustrated with me because he feels as though there's nothing he can do to help me. the truth is. he loves me and that's enough right now. i think part of my depression comes from feeling like a bit of a failure not having a job. it was really hard last weekend when people asked me what i was up to, work wise. i try to act all happy about having time off to plan the wedding, but in reality, i feel like shit not working...

anyway. that's my little rant for the day.

did you know that bob is going to be the next bachelor??? ROOOOOOOT!

LAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and..."audrey is singing back-up for john mayer."

seriously. LAME.

did anyone tape the 90210 reunion??????

if you did, let me know. i REALLY want to see it and my tape ran out 10 minutes into the show!!! help me!

as most of you know, i have severe anxeity about flying. well, regardless of the fact that i take anxeity medicine - i had a major attack at the airport on friday. i don't want to go into full detail, but we made it to san francisco on saturday morning, just in time for the party.

and the party...was incredible. a bit overwhelming but wonderful. unlike the party in dallas, i knew everyone attending and hadn't seen most of them since last may. catching up with all of the invitee's was a challenge in itself. especially since i was trying to give everyone there equal time and setting time aside at the end to hang out with all of our friends. i asked a select few to plan on staying late, but a bunch of people ended up staying late. needless to say, i didn't get the time i wanted with meeks or laura. however - i did get a LOT of time with james! yay!

the rest of the weekend was a blast. we spent mother's day morning with my mom, making her breakfast and spending some "mother-daughter-future son in law" time. after breakfast, i headed over to nana's to spend some quality time with her. it's really hard to have an actual conversation with her. she answers everything "yes" or "no". she doesn't really go into detail, which is something she did often before she got sick. john says it's just age, but really - there's such a difference in her mentality and personality. and that's the hardest for me to digest. i remember my nana as this vivacious woman, who at 84 was still driving everywhere and completely independent. now, she sits in her recliner most of the day and at night, doesn't remember anything. it's difficult to see her like that. regardless, it was wonderful spending time with her and she promised she would be at the wedding. and for me, that's the most important thing.

and now, we're back. but - we're thinking about heading west for shoreline... :)

i am so excited for my trip home! so excited to see my peeps and my family. it's going to be so much fun! i am thinking i will con everyone into elephant bar for dinner tomorrow night. sound good? thanks!

oh, and marika...i did get a skirt. :) too bad the world now has to view my pasty white legs.

the bachelor.

my thoughts? he's going to pick jen. i think kirsten is the trista of season one. they want us to think it's her but it's all a big trick.

but seriously, tina fabulous? yeah. get over yourself.

i just heard some VERY exciting news. i cannot elaborate as of now, but when i can - i will.

yay for *someone* very special to me!

oh, i forgot to mention, the new jack is incredible!

issues. mad issues.

lat night, we went to the royals game! it was so much fun! WE BELIEVE, WE BELIEVE!!! they won in the 9th with a single!!! raise the roof. nothing tops my giants, but the excitement at the game was incredible.

also, rudeness? one of our friends emailed to see if we had invited this one couple to our wedding that we're not especially close to. not only do i find that rude, but then he asked if their child was invited, too. is it me, ir is that out of line?

the best thing about being unemployed is four hours of dawson's creek every weekday morning.

but seriously, don't be jealous of me!!!!

you know what's ironic?

the fact that the banner above my blog constantly advertises for high priced dave matthews band tickets. how wrong is that??

it's kind of weird to think that in exactly six months, i will be getting married.