i love justin timberlake, so much.

no, seriously. SO MUCH.

the duet with al green? i had chills.

ok, back to thank-you notes!

it may be a day late, but here's my "things i am thankful for" list.

-a wonderful husband, who has been extra wonderful these past few days
-incredible friends and family
-my health
-oliver and jimi, as devilish as they both may be
-music, possibly the greatest non-familial passion i have
-unexpected house money (that will make it SO possible to buy a house in a few months)
-dmb weekend trips (and those who've made them possible)
-grande nonfat, decaf, no whip gingerbread latte's
-holiday shopping before the holidays
-nephews-to-be (landon! isn't that the cutest name?)
-the plaza holiday lights
-knowing charlie & harry, and the incredible impact they both had on my life.

ok, now that i am all teary, i am going to get back to work. yes, work. i am working today! boo!

happy belated thanksgiving, everyone!

so much to say.

then again, what can i say?

charlie is one of my oldest and dearest friends from high school. we met through our jewish youth group the second week of freshman year. straight from new york, she was incredibly witty, beautiful and probably the smartest person i've ever known. you know the type - when you talk to them, you feel intimidated by their brains. but, for as smart as charlie is, she never made me feel dumb. in fact, she made me feel intelligent.

after high school, she headed east and began her undergrad at brown. even though 3000 miles separated us, we talked, weekly, about the different things we were experiencing. i opted to take a semester off, and work; while she was cramming for exams. no matter how different our lives were, we had this incredible friendship, admiration and respect for each other. the rest of our "college" years were full of numerous phone calls, letters and the end all, be all of gifts - the largest dave matthews poster you could ever find. it hung above my bed for years, just as my jerry mcguire stand up was posted to her wall.

after college, she moved to new york. i was so jealous. she would tell me about the bars that she would go to, and the online service that delivered movies and anything else you wanted. for so long, i wanted to be her. or like her. to be so independent and free spirited. and motivated. the girl had more motivation than one can only aspire to have. i liked to live vicariously through her. going to plays, night clubs and other manhattan hot spots - and being free.

a few years later, she moved back to san francisco. i was so excited to have her so close - and so happy. as much as she loved new york, her heart belonged in san francisco. she'd drag me out to what i thought were extravagant restaurants, and we'd talk and talk and talk for hours.

when i decided to move to kansas city, she was one of the first to know. she was so excited and so supportive. she always told me that i needed to move away from my family to experience life, and become independent. i felt so much support from her, more than i felt from anyone else.

and, in our typical "different lives" friendship, when i called to tell her i was engaged, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer. she'd never talk about what kind it was - she just said that it wasn't major and that she could over come it. in the past year we talked several times. when i would ask how she was, she'd tell me everything was going so well and give me a brief overview as to what she had been experiencing, never leading on how serious things were. a few weeks before the wedding, we had an incredible conversation. about the wedding, the past, etc. never did i think it would be the last conversation we'd have.

monday evening, i received a call that she had passed earlier that day. it's still so surreal. why didn't she let me know how sick she was? i feel so helpless. twenty six years old. as i've said, such complete opposites yet such an incredible friendship. i would have done anything for her, and vice versa. i keep saying if. if, if, if. nothing will bring her back, i just wish i had the chance to say goodbye. i try to think about the last time we talked. if i told her i loved her or how much she meant to me - but i can't remember. the only thing i remember is her telling me how dramatic i was being about the wedding planning, and that was exactly charlie - putting me in my place, and telling it like it was.

celebrate, we will
cuz life is short, but sweet for certain...

looks like i'll be staying home friday night!

root!

so you pass to the left and then you sail to the right...

i really want this coat.

maybe i can buy it as a birthday present to myself.

erin, i should have made a friendly wager with you about the bachelor's choice.

i rule.

today is totally one of those days.

i am so ready to go home and get in bed.

this is the first time i have not wanted to be here, and it sucks.

we finally got our shit together and got a box spring for our queen sized mattress! i am SO excited to have a bigger bed!!!!

and of course, we had to buy some new bedding since the stuff we got for the wedding is too nice for ghettolark hill.

root!

i've been really down lately. everyone warned me that after the wedding there's a little bit of depression that sets in. there's no longer 50 things to do for the wedding each day, and too much free time.

which, is why i opted to get a part time evening/weekend job. first off, to make some extra money. second, to meet some new people. and third, to not spend every night glued to the tv. i THOUGHT it would be the perfect thing. maybe it's the job, maybe it's the people...but, i just don't think it's going to work. it's nice to know i can shop for the holidays at all limited stores with a 30% discount. but, i don't think it's worth sacrificing time with my husband. i mean, we don't need the money, i was just going to do it so that i can afford my $65 haircuts and my $25 eyebrow waxing. not to mention extra cash for the holidays. but what it comes down to is that i just don't think i am a two job kind of girl. i can make as many excuses as i want. for the next two weeks i am going to try it, just to see what happens. if not, i will find something else...maybe.

other than that, not much else is going on. i scored pretty decent seats to the chicago and oakland dave a friends shows. too bad i am not using them for myself...

it's official, i'm lazy.

i spent all day saturday watching the last season of sex and the city. elise's mom made me a tape from tivo (not to be confused with steve-o) and it ROCKS.

if anyone wants to borrow it, let me know.

THEN, sunday...i started at bath and body. i was so excited at first, but then realized how much time i'd be missing with john. i've decided that i will try it for a bit, and if it's too much, i'll just find another way to make some extra cash.

this ROCKS.

the bachelor is stressing me out.

i really want kelly-jo to win, but i think they're downplaying estella for a reason.

two weeks till the truth is known!

and another thing.

i heard "so damn lucky" on the radio today. i had no idea that was going to be the next single. but, i think it's a good follow up to "gravedigger".

ugh. is it friday, yet?

i am in LOVE with the new sarah cd. i can't wait for her to tour, again.

is it time for lunch, yet?

well, it's official! i'm shayna cramer dunn :)