have you ever had one of those days/weeks where you feel like you are dreaming? that things keep happening where you feel like you are helpless? or you have no control what-so-ever over certain things going on?

i know i sound vague, but this is the first time in my life where i have felt like i am grown up. dealing with issues which i never expected or prepared myself for. things that i felt i had such a grasp on, i don't. things that i thought i knew, i don't. things that seemed so clear to me, arent. it's a very disconcerting feeling and i am truly feeling numb.

i don't know why but the theme song for "silver spoons", just ran through my head. probably because i miss it and i think it should make a comeback!! it would be awesome if "facts of life" would make a comeback, as well. i am sure it's wishful thinking but i am getting really tired of "the fresh prince of bel air".

this week has been super busy and the weekend will only be busier. we're heading to omaha, which in case you haven't heard, is somewhere in middle america. my aunt zoe (who really isn't my aunt but my mom's best friend since age 18) has invited us for passover. it will be really nice to expose john to more jewish traditions. i just hope he doesn't fall asleep during the sedar. something tells me he might. regardless, i am trilled to be going to the sedar and to see my aunt/her family. i don't think i have seen her kids since i was 10. that's a really long time.

tons of other stuff going on, as well. john and i are hosting a mother's day brunch for his mother and grandmother. i invited my mom but she doesn't want to leave nana. completely understandable. it's going to be a great event. i'm going to try and make it as simple as possible. i'm thinking waffle bar, fruit salad, a breakfast casserole and mimosas. yummy, right? although, i did see rachael ray make some oatmeal raisin pancakes a few weeks back that looked divine. what to do! i am sure it will come to me. eventually.

a'ight. i have tons of work to do! happy passover to my all my peeps.

i got this email from one of our local radio stations.

Dear Planet V.I.P. www.973ThePlanet.com

Here's your inside information on what's coming up this week on 97.3 The Planet...
Planet V.I.P. here's the scoop on our very intimate Dave Matthews Band world class trip!
Being a Planet V.I.P. comes with many privileges and this time you get to hear about our DMB trip before Kenny gives everyone else the details on Monday morning. Starting Monday morning at 7am be sure to be listening for the new DMB song "American Baby". Because every time we play it between 6am and 7pm, through this coming Friday April the 22nd, the 97th caller is going to get a advance copy of the new DMB cd "Stand Up", tickets to the DMB show at Verizon Amphitheater in September and qualifies for this special trip. If you're the big winner you and a friend are going to fly on May 9th to a secret location to see Dave and the band play before a very small audience, in a very big city, at a legendary hall to celebrate the new cd going on sale that night at midnight. It's so secret that we won't be able to tell you where it is until Thursday morning. Plus, since you're a V.I.P. we're even going to tell you when we'll play "American Baby" on Monday. We'll play it in the 7am, 11am and 4pm hours this Monday. Good luck!

i have somewhat mixed emotions about this because this is a trip that you should be a DIE hard to win. usually when they do trips like this they do trivia and you have to answer questions relating to the band/artist the prize involves. regardless, you know i will be trying to win those darn passes!!!

number survey

thirteen random things you like:
(1) baking cookies first thing in the morning
(2) the way oliver cocks his head to the side when he's in trouble
(3) tootsie rolls
(4) driving coachella
(5) talking on the phone while driving
(6) getting the mail
(7) emailing friends
(8) the smell of my blackberry vanilla trapp candle
(9) cleaning the bathroom
(10) going to target, roaming the aisles and not buying anything
(11) entertainment tonight
(12) waking up after 8am
(13) john's smile when he's sleeping

twelve movies you like:
(1) american beauty
(2) can't buy me love
(3) what a girl wants
(4) life is beautiful
(5) bye, bye, birdie
(6) office space
(7) grease 2
(8) the last american virgin
(9) steel magnolias
(10) saving silverman
(11) lady and the tramp
(12) shrek

eleven good bands/artists:
(1) dmb
(2) gavin degraw
(3) john mayer
(4) ani difranco
(5) ray lamontange
(6) indigo girls
(7) radiohead
(8) sarah mclachlan
(9) jack johnson
(10) justin timberlake (no, no i don't)
(11) marc broussard

ten things about you:
(1) i am loud
(2) i'm a shorty
(3) i have a major obsession with makeup even though i hardly wear any
(4) i go to bed early
(5) i am super obsessed with reality tv
(6) i love to cook
(7) i miss sushi - not many good places in kc
(8) i am obsessed with patrick dempsey
(9) i like to drive
(10) i stay very focused while working

nine good friends:
not going there.

eight favorite foods/drinks:
(1) water with lemon
(2) sushi
(3) chicken quesadillas from baja fresh
(4) heath bar blizzards from dairy queen
(5) john's chicken marsala
(6) cosmos
(7) cherry coke
(8) carrot cake

seven things you wear daily:
(1) my wedding ring
(2) clothes
(3) earrings
(4) breast cancer bracelet
(5) a ponytail
(6) a bra
(7) a smile!

six things that annoy you:
(1) abrasive people
(2) traffic
(3) the glad bag girl
(4) w.
(5) shitty drivers
(6) people who can't see the big picture

five things you touch everyday:
(1) john
(2) oliver
(3) jimi
(4) my cell phone
(5) car door

four tv shows you watch:
(1) the oc
(2) desperate housewives
(3) grays anatomy
(4) the bachelor

three celebrities you have a crush on:
(1) patrick dempsey
(2) orlando bloom
(3) justin timberlake

two people you'd like to smack:
(1) :-x
(2) :-x

One Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With:
(1) john joseph!

the more john makes plans for the gorge, the more excited i get. i don't know if i am as excited to see the shows as i am to just be at the gorge. to see the people, to experience the legend.

i'm letting john plan this trip, since it's his dream to go there. i really haven't done a damn thing as far as planning goes - other than making a decision to stay in seattle thursday night so that we can see some family and friends.

ok, i just realized that there are four whole months until the shows. maybe i should calm down a bit...

here's a question for you:

why is it ok to show the dead pope on tv? is it wrong of me to find it highly disturbing? maybe it's because i'm jewish and we don't do the whole "open casket" thing. but, i just don't understand it.

ahhh...i can't believe i have survived my first week! it's been really great but so chaotic.

first of all, i LOVE working downtown. (i reserve the right to change my mind at any time.) i love looking out the window of my cube and seeing the kansas city skyline. it's incredible!

the job itself is going to be a wonderful experience for me. the most difficult thing will be un-learning what i knew at my previous job. the benefits are so incredibly different and i can see myself getting flustered and confusing what i once knew to what actually is. does that make sense?

my boss is very hands off, which i like. she's given me the basics of my position and has told me to run with it! so, since it's a new position, i'll be creating it's daily functions. very exciting. the two others in my department are great, as well. one is so sweet and so caring. the other is very abrasive and i can see us butting heads a bit. but that's work for ya!

also, they have a full cafeteria. i love it because they have fresh sliced lemons and i can put them in my morning water. such a bonus! and, since i need to talk about food some more...fresh baked muffins every morning.

all in all, a successful first week. i really hope i make this my permanent home. there is so much room for growth and an incredible retirement plan. ha! planning for retirement, already!