ok, i can't sleep so here we go.

i know that my obsession with john is completely unhealthy. tonight it ended. i had built this thing up so high that i was actually disapointed with the show. i had expectations of an amazing performance. don't get me wrong, the show was ok - just not what i had anticipated.

the crowd was young. i think that aside from the people who were sitting upstairs waiting for OAR to play, i was the eldest in attendence. 14 year old girls who literally gawk at his every move. i felt like i was at an NSYNC show, with better music. these girls have no idea how passionate his lyrics are. how intense the emotions are that go into writing these songs. you can see it on his face. the reason why i loved john so much was because i could relate to his music.

take back to you for instance.

it's about this him, loving his ex so much and somehow, he can't let go.

the song has more meaning to me then any other song i have ever heard. the lyrics are so real, so passionate. i have no idea what i am trying to say. basically i am just feeling very let down.

i am gonna go to the show tomorrow. to see if my opinion changes.